Jan Hajny was hatched from an egg as part of an experiment in Soviet-era Czechoslovakia. 

Jan quickly discovered in his fledgling, formative years, that banging on things was a veritable skill he possessed in excess, and it was a natural decision for him to explore this in the pursuit of wealth and recognition.

Jan is allowed to come out of his restraining cage, once per week, under strict, Dapper-vision, to provide the percussive backbone of the band. 

Jan's the man that bangs the tangs! 

He is, truly, the Dapper "Dutch" Dude.