Jan Hajny was hatched from an egg as part of an experiment in Soviet-era Czechoslovakia.
Jan quickly discovered in his fledgling, formative years, that banging on things was a veritable skill he possessed in excess, and it was a natural decision for him to explore this in the pursuit of wealth and recognition.
Jan is allowed to come out of his restraining cage, once per week, under strict, Dapper-vision, to provide the percussive backbone of the band.
Jan's the man that bangs the tangs!
He is, truly, the Dapper "Dutch" Dude.